A new leaf

I'm suppose to be putting the pieces of my life back together, but its harder than i thought it would be. Some where along the course of my life i have lost sight of my goals and aspirations. i have let others slow me down and hold me back. they havent dont it purposely its just that i have become so consumed n making every one else happy that i completely forgot about me and my happiness. WEN I STRIP AWAY Rashida, and Khadisa, and Shenique, and Raynard, and my mother, and my job, and the pageant.... who is left? Who am i wen i lay my head on my pillow at night? Who am i wen i don’t have anyone or anything around me that can change or effect the person I am at that moment? Who is Sedio Gregoire? Or is that hu Sedio Gregoire really is? Is she just a living, breathing entity that lives only to satisfy and justify the needs of others? Does she not possess an identity of her own? Maybe then i should leave Sedio Gregoire behind...Maybe i should adopt a new identity.....one that is completely and undeniably the 1 and tru definition of Me. No longer should i ask myself what is my favourite colour or my favourite food...no longer will i question the passions that drive me. Never again shall i question my true identity, cuz it will ring clear and true. The one thing that i am sure of..the only aspect of my self that i know for certain is..I am Confused...nearly always and constantly confused. But given time..and sum soul searching.. that will no longer be my constant state.

Avila Mon Couer

Avila mon coeur, guardi li mo,
Here is my heart, guard it well,
To you I give what no one else has,
My heart.
You have broken the barrier walls
And touched me where it matters most,
My soul.
You shine like a star in my eyes,
I give unto you my body;
My temple.
There my heart reigns supreme,
Use it as you will.
I lay myself down before you,
Naked and vulnerable,
Unashamed and awaiting your decision,
Will you love me as I love you?
Will you cherish me as you queen,
Or will you use me and abuse me
As so many before you have done?
I place my heart in your hands,
I give you my love on a silver platter.
Avila mon coeur, guardi li mo.