Tired

I'm so tired of being lonely, im tired of going to be every night and crying because i dont have any1 to love or love me. I'm tired of wasting my love on people who dont deserve it. Most of all im tired of having this emotional lump in my throat, its stifling, it hurts, physically and emotionally and quite frankly im so fucking tired of it.

Had I Three Wishes

Had i three wishes my very first one would be to be in the arms of someone who loves me right now...
I'm so utterly lonely sometimes, i have a handful of friends and a shit-load of acquaintances but as much fun as they can be and as much as i love hanging out and talking to my best-friends, it doesn't take away from the loneliness i feel inside..

Mere words alone could not describe how i feel right now...i "Need" someone to hold me with love rather than friendship...its a whole different feeling. i want to feel like i belong with someone again...i want someone to think about with a smile on my lips b4 i go to bed at night...i want someone to kiss me on my forehead and hold me and say everything will b okay. I have no 1 there to comfort me, to talk me through my depression, to hold me wen i cry which i find myself doing with increasing regularity.


Should my first wish b granted my second would be that that person...whosoever it is holding me with love would also be the love of my life, may that person be the object of my desire and the keeper of my heart. May i love that person so fiercely that my love will far over shadow any that they have experienced be4.


My third and final wish and by far the most important of them all...would be that our love remains true 4 forever and eternity...never depreciating but growing stronger and richer like fine wine. may our love be 1 to outlast the changing of time and the difficulties that riddle the path way to happiness..... may join and laughter fill our hearts and our lives and may each day be a blessing. Should we ever have a bad day i pray that we will learn from it and grow to love each other more because of it.

But reality settles in and i realise that for all the good it does sitting and wishing for these three things...i may as wells had wished to be Goddess of Love and savior to those suffering without it... For none of these things will ever happen and such love may never b mine

Wilding out on Wednesdays

This is much unlike my usual blogs as im sure you'll realise but hey i had to document it....i wont say wat exactly was great about it neither will i mention any names .

I feel so liberated and happy today....maybe its all on account of yesterday when i went out with some friends of mine and had a blast. We had margaritas at Cafe Sol and then we went over to Jumbies for Wild Out Wednesdays..this seemzs to be a growing routine with these particular friends becaus e we did the same thing last wednesday and we have plans to go again next week. I did 2 body shot...the first 1 my friend *****-****** did off of me and i had to persuade him to do it cuz hes a bit shy and the next 1 i did on *******. It was great, the dj played great from beginning to end and we had a blast.

With each passing day

With each passing day...
It becomes easier to face the demons of my past....
With each passing night ...
I shed a little less tears.
I no longer shun my reflection...
No longer afraid of what i may see....
I look up and stand firm,
I look at the version of me that people see
and I love her a little more...
With each passing day.